True Stories and other Possible Death-Causing Material

DISCLAIMER: Any injuries caused to self or suicides committed by persons reading the following material are totally understandable. The author of this note will hereby not be held accountable for any such incident. Yeah and by the way, those who do not entertain cheap, stupid and therefore totally vulgar humour are advised to keep away. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

True Stories by Ayush:

1. Faraz and Ayush walking down the road. A plane flies overhead.
Faraz: Abe ye Kingfisher hoga.
Ayush: Nahi pagal ye to aeroplane hai...

2. Aamir: Abe colour dekh CIVIC ka kitna badhiya hai.
Ayush: Haan yar. Aur History ka colour kaisa hai?

3. In Physics Practical Lab:
Avish: Yar kya kar raha hai ayushtu pehle table to bana le.
Ayush (pointing to real table): Abe table to bani hui hai.

4. In Physics Practical Lab:
Mariya (getting irritated): Yar tum log kar kya rahe ho??
Ayush (cheeky grin): Mai? Mai to BTech kar raha hoon..

5. In class, when I wore different shoes for the 3rd day in a row:
Sami: Ayush tu daily naye joote kyun pehenke aata hai?
Ayush: Mai New Daily mein rehta hoon na isliye...

6. In Chem Practical Lab:
Faraz: Abe in compunds ke beech zaroor koi na koi relation hoga.
Ayush: Kaunsa, one-one ya onto?

7. At home:
Aditi: Hey this apple is raw.
Ayush: Raw? I thought it was....SMACKDOWN!

8. In Chem Practical Lab:
Faraz: Abe fir se kyun ja raha hai sir ke paas? Teri pe sign ho to gaya..
Ayush: Abe pagal cos bhi to karwana hai...


True Stories by Abhimanyu:

1. Manyu: Bhai aap kaunsa deo use karte ho?
Cousin: Mai to POLICE deo use karta hoon.
Manyu: Achha mai to CHOR ka deo use karta hoon

2. Manyu's mom: Eat almonds, this will make your brain sharp..
Manyu: Oh then I will be able to...Cut vegetables?


Brutal, Homicidal and Murderous Shayari by Ayush: (Totally self-made and copyrighted)
Arz kiya hai...


1. Ek sundar si haseena, uska deewana ek ladka...


Ek sundar si haseena, uska deewana ek ladka...



Degi Mirch ka tadka, ang-ang phadka!
MDH ki degi mirach!





2. Raju ne kabhi sharaab na peene ki kasam khai hai...



Raju ne kabhi sharaab na peene ki kasam khai hai...




Anil Ambani Mukesh ka chhota bhai hai...





3. Mujhe saari zindagi bitaani hai tere sang...



Mujhe saari zindagi bitaani hai tere sang...




VC of Jamia is Dr Najeeb Jung...





4. Fr Agnel says, Love your neighbour as Yourself...



Fr Agnel says, Love your neighbour as Yourself...



Nikhil has gone to University of Guelph....